“Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” Barack Obama

Last week, I was supposed to have my first Cognitive Behavioural Therapy session. Due to a change in my work timetable for the week, I had to reschedule. However, I have found that since writing my first post about my journey with anxiety, and plans for the next year (found here -http://puddygeeks.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/challenges-are-what-make-life.html) I'm starting to wane a little in motivation. Changing your routine is really hard, and it's ridiculously easy to fall back into familiar bad habits and routines, even if these are the things that make you miserable. I'm attempting to change my diet to ensure that I have better control over my Irritable Bowel Syndrome, as that is already triggered by anxiety so sitting here eating Mexican foods, chocolate and crisps all the time is really not helping the situation. It turns out I have literally no will power when it comes to food. Of all of the issues that I am tackling at the moment, I have to admit that this is the most difficult. Well, maybe tied with trying to motivate myself to go back to the gym that I am currently paying for but not attending. I bought a whole drawer of gym gear to make sure I felt good when I worked out. Now it just sits gathering dust, it's really quite shameful.

Anyway, what I wanted to say was that every now and then you need something to set you back on course, and remind you why you are trying to change. Sometimes it won't be good, sometimes it will hurt and suck and all you will want to do is crawl back into your safe routine where no-one can hurt you. But it's being in the big bad world that will make you strong, and confronting those 'oh so scary' situations, and realising that they are not so scary, maybe even fun, that will make you happy. Change isn't easy for anyone, but you just need to remember what you are doing it for and keep finding ways to motivate yourself. You will fall down. You will fall down a lot. But as long as you keep picking yourself up, and fighting each small battle along the way, you'll find that there is an awesome world out there waiting for you, anxiety-free.